Just to let you know that why I've been so quiet and that it will continue for a while. My health problems have been overwhelming but at least we now know what they are (a number of abcesses which as my immune system doesn't work properly' are poisoning me to buggery). I've been going downhill for weeks or even months but it's getting sorted.

I'm hoping to be in hospital next week for procedures and as my nervous sytsem collapses at any invasion (what a wimp I sound) recovery takes longer. So I'll be off further for a while. I'm behind on replying to tagboards, messages, pooping into y'all but at least now I'm going to get treated

It was really serious last week, thought I was on the way out, sounds dramatic I know. Just want to get treated and back to my inept 'normality'.

Nothing to worry about, just patience needed. Back to annoy you soon...

Bye ~Haze

Back on August 5th I wrote I hadn't been posting much coz I was feeling so strange. I'm STILL all discombobulated.

Even though my body and brain function in the past has been so low I've still enoyed writing here, messing about with some daft graphics, some wordplay - or your brains. Now I'm half dead.

Were I able to analyse it I guess I would realise that my poor physical health is at the bottom of it. I've still, f'rinstance, got problems with  jaw infections. That drags down my everyday problems with my normally lowered immune system so that I'm trapped in bed even more than norma andl in a zombie-state. I'm not in bed because I'm depressed but because I'm so physically ill but then that poisons my psyche and spirit.

Around my birthday I was shown so much love, given presents that came from peoples' hearts and I know it but don't see it. Perhaps all the serious Dad confronting stuff is taking more out of me than I anticipated. I'm sure if I could wake without every cell screaming in pain and knowing I had a true productive day ahead it would help. As it is my days go around getting to the loo, eating, drinking, sitting here. Getting dressed is a bonus luxury...but then again, I'm used to that. Being so joyless is not like me.

People keep being exceedingly kind and blessing me but I'm not communicating with it no matter how much my head really knows I'm privileged...I try and do back what I can and that's invisible to me also.

A while back I wrote about taking part in a Guinness Book of Records challenge. Now it's official: The World Record has been broken!! Yeehaaaa!

I'd like to thank my personal trainer, my sponsors, my friends for helping me with the years of training and heartache it took to get here, etc. What, you're still wanting to know what the record is? Erm, well... What did I do? Erm...I drank a glass of wine. Yes, but I did it with style and panache AND I managed to aim it at my mouth and swallow without spilling it!

It was the World Record for the biggest wine-tasting ever. Over 17,000 of us raised our glasses at the same time...I like to do what I can to support sport and community events, no matter what the sacrifice. Let no one say that I am mean-spirited or without a sense of occasion.Click here for the details.

It's onwards and upwards from here. Anyone know when the biggest curry eat-out is going to be? I promise you I'm training!

Of course, I could just try and get a life...

When I was young I didn't realise I was part of history. History was Something That Had Happened and, not realising that What Was Happening Now would be history too, I thought that Now was All. History was that olde black and white other country, recorded as such, and handed on to me in its black and white morals. But my 'Nows' are someone else's 'History'.

Now I am old enough to have my own history. Perhaps it's not much of a one as since 1982 I've spent most of the time in bed in a dark room in varying stages of incapacity and pain but it has been a life of sorts. I've not been well enough to bring up children and that also negates the grandchildren I would have had so I will not be leaving much behind.

But Now is All - for now...

...getting dizzy yet?

This weekend we have a big traditional seaside festival at Spittal. I'll be playing on the Sunday (singing and playing piano solo: jazz standards and maybe some silliness depending on the atmosphere).

Personally I'm looking forward to seeing the Punch and Judy show.

As always in England we're waiting on the weather but it's forecast to be bad Saturday, good on Sunday.

Here's some of my family photos showing showing Brits enjoying (or freezing their asses off at) the seaside:

above: a traditional part of a seaside excursision has always been for children to take a donkey ride across the sands. The names of these people are lost in time. the styling looks very 1920's and the central chap looks to me like my maternal grandfather, Sid, who sadly died when my mother was still a babe in arms.

above: my maternal grandmother, Doris, circa 1937. She'd kill me for letting everyone see such a 'saucy' picture of her!                       

  "I miss you SO MUCH, Gran"

above: 1960's. Me kneeling, brother Mike sat (yes, I really am that old...)

I mean, it's just not right, is it?

It's not like me to have such a gap between posting. I don't know, I feel kind of eeeuurggeee/haruunnnnngghhh/eeuuuwweeeuurgg.

Hope to get to our Open Mic Night tonight as not been for a while. Then on Sunday I'm singing at our Seaside Festival. Maybe that will shake off this eeeuurggeee/haruunnnnngghhh/eeuuuwweeeuurgg-y feeling!

In the meantime, pop into a great blog I visited for the first time last week On The Path. An honest, Buddhist influenced, spiritual journey.

  If any of you have gone into my website you'll know my biggest music hero is Randy Newman. His first album of new stuff in 9 years (other than film scores and an album of solo recordings of earlier songs) has come out this week. Genius stuff! I'll be reviewing it later this week on my piano blog but get yours now! It's called 'Harps and Angels', released by Nonesuch Records.

Back to normal soon, I hope!

Once a year MLM (My Lord & Master) travels abroad with his mentor Geordie Paul to sample the delights of an intensive aikido course. They either go to Belgium or France. This year it's France and they will, with a few hundred others, jump about in their white pyjamas and black skirts (see my previous post 'My Boyfriend's Skirt'). MLM is a second dan and, I think, very good. I've seem him do stuff you normally only see in movies - but remember, movie actions scenes are choreographed and what he and his colleagues do is for real.

So I'm left behind {boo hoo} for nearly 2 weeks until they come back laden with duty free wine and whining about each other like an old married couple. They're good mates but after 2 weeks of intensive association they have had enough and end up moaning to me about the other's snoring or flatulence or eating habits.

Had they been to Lesneven this year they'd have been doing the following. It's a clip from the actual course. In this they're practising 'rolling around'. Now you SERIOUSLY need to be able to roll around safely in order to take the falls necessary but an entire room of hundreds of fit people doing nothing but rolling around makes me laugh. It's the ultimate ROFWLMAO: Rolling On the Floor Without Laughing My Ass Off!

But in seriousness here's the Big Daddy O'Sensai showing what he could do at a very advanced age and that's heavy duty. Perhaps it could be said his fellows are giving him a bit of an easy ride in this but there's no doubting his fluidity, ability and the respect he's earned. In his earlier days he had killed people (eek) until going into the 'way of harmony'.

I guess I'll have to keep being an aikido widow for years to come but I'll look forward to seeing how MLM progresses and the benefits he gains (plus he comes back rather taut and fit so I gain too!)

It's my 'little' brother's birthday today! Happy Birthday, Mike!!!

An early trip to a British beach. Me left, Mike right

Every boy should have a rubber chicken!

Every man should be trapped with his wife inside Star Wars packaging!

Every man should have been a character in a Star Wars film and flown the Millennium Falcon!

Every man should work with people who look very, VERY strange!

And every man should be as nice as my brother!

HAVE A GREAT DAY, LITTLE BRUV!!!!

Luv Ya!

 I was posting up a silly vid on my piano blog of Rowan Atkinson playing an invisible piano and thought you guys might like this one where he finds an invisible drum kit and starts playing...

If you enjoyed this pop over to my Ultimate Piano Blog and have a look at him playing the invisible piano...